


The Cat-astrophe

by foxyjiji



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Banter, Cat Ears, Cat Tail, Cat/Human Hybrids, Eating out, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Top Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, these boys are horny im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23470630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxyjiji/pseuds/foxyjiji
Summary: In an unlikely turn of event, Felix has grown cat ears. Dimitri doesn't mind them.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 5
Kudos: 79





	The Cat-astrophe

Felix wished that he had been paying enough attention in that war conference to remember who the hell’s suggestion it was to look for supplies in the dorm rooms of their classmates, but whenever he did figure it out he was going to wring their neck. Furthermore, he was thinking of defecting to the Empire at the order from Byleth for Felix to be the one to search Claude’s old dorm room because he “lived in the one next door to it”. Why would that make him responsible for digging through the guys stuff?

He should have just ignored what they had to say and called them “ridiculous” (okay, he did actually do that last part) and went on about his day. But no, he had been nice and tried to cooperate, so he had kicked in the door of the old Golden Deer house leader’s door and started shuffling around in there. Felix could not fathom how the guy even lived here. Sure, it had already been run through by bandits, but this place was such a goddamn mess. He had mumbled curses to himself as he made the place look even worse, throwing books around and looking under the bed only to find nothing but more fucking books. Who had this much time to read?

It wasn’t until he got to the desk, yanking open the compartments, that he found the reason why he was so particularly angry right now. The drawers were full of a bunch of unmarked bottles and handwritten notes, nothing that Felix cared to decipher. He remembered hearing that the former duke had a thing for making poisons, but with everything unlabeled there was no use they could make of it anyway. Plus, it had been five years so who knew if any of the stuff even served its original purpose anymore. 

He was just going to tell them that he found nothing, and he slammed the drawers to the desk shut with the intent on leaving. When he did, one of the vials had fallen from a hole in the bottom, broken onto the ground and erupted into a cloud of smoke that filled the area that Felix was in. 

His reflexes were fast, as he pulled back and away from the cloud, but not fast enough. He had breathed in some of the...mysterious pink gas, and now he was coughing as it entered his lungs. He...had to get to a healer fast, who knew what was in that stuff? The coughing only lasted a couple of seconds and he mostly felt fine, but it was still better safe than sorry. 

But as he was turning to leave the room he felt something brush up against the back of his legs. Spinning around to face whatever dared touch him, he looked back to find….nothing. He went to move again only to get the same sensation again. This time he turned just his torso to look and saw a...long, fluffy navy tail coming out from the bottom of his shirt?

This definitely sent him scrambling, taking off his overcoat and leaving on just his undershirt, pulling it up to where he could see the joint between his lower back and the tail that now protruded out of it. He...had to get a better look at it, so he went over to where he saw there was a mirror, planning to look at the new thing he had growing out of him, but stopped dead in his tracks. The second he saw the reflection of his face in the mirror he noticed two navy, catlike ears growing from the top of his head. 

As if he didn’t believe what he was seeing he reached up to grab and pull at them, only to realize...they were definitely connected to his nervous system. His...normal human ears, they were gone and he seemed to be hearing out of the things that were on top of his head. He was able to move them as well, and whoever had told him before that when a cat with slicked down its ears it meant it was mad must be right because Felix’s ears were flush against his head right now, matching his narrowed eyebrows and his puffed out tail. 

And it had only gotten worse from there. He marched his angry ass right to Manuela only to be met with laughter about his current situation. Apparently, she had no idea how to fix his situation and had never heard of a potion turning someone into a cat before. 

Byleth was no help either. They said that the best that they could do was write a letter to Claude and see if he knew any way to help. Fat chance that would do anything, ever since they had helped the forces at Derdriu no one had seen the guy ever again. Byleth even had the audacity to say at least he had only inhaled a little bit and that he even looked quite cute. Felix was not the only one who had to visit Manuela when Byleth decided it was a good idea to pet Felix’s head and not think that they were going to get bit. 

So now here he was, pacing through the monastery stuck with these cat ears and tail because his new worst enemy, the former leader of the Alliance, couldn’t label his stupid fucking potions. Felix was practically seething all day long, and those who dared to approach him got hissed at, bit, or threatened with a sword. 

The second that he finished dinner, eaten all by himself for no one dared mess with him after they heard what he did to Byleth, he went up to his room (stopping only a second to give Claude’s door another good kick) to wallow in his own self pity.

He didn’t know how many hours had passed of him (not so) silently fuming in his bed before he heard a soft knock on his door. He was not in the mood for visitors, so he elected to just ignore it, until the knock got louder. 

Felix huffed as he jumped out of bed, ready to scare off whoever the hell found themselves brave enough to approach him right now. He yanked the door open and glared...upwards at the blond standing outside of his room. 

“What the hell do you want, boar?”

“Good evening to you as well, Felix,” Dimitri responded. Their relationship was getting better, but it still was a bit rocky after everything was said and done. “Are those...new?”

He was looking at the ears that were atop Felix’s head and for some reason that just made Felix even more mad. Why was he even at his door if not to talk about his ears?

“Seriously, do you not even know what’s going on at your own base? Some leader you are.”

“Well I...heard that you had bit the Professor, but I assumed that was just...regular Felix.”

If one of Felix’s ears twitching and his tail swishing back and forth was not enough to indicate that he was not happy about that comment then then glare that was on his face was a dead give away. 

“If all you have is small talk then go back to the pen you escaped from.”

“No, I just...well, I’m next door to you and you kept cursing and hitting the wall. So I was coming to see if you were okay,” Dimitri at least seemed genuine when he said that, but that didn’t mean that Felix was any happier that he was here. 

“Do I look like I’m okay, I have a fucking tail.”

“Well...you never know, it could be a blessing in disguise. Cats are very good at acrobatics, you know. Perhaps it could help you with your balancing...or...serve as an extra arm to hold your sword.”

There was something about being born into a position of leadership that didn’t require you to have much brains, wasn’t there? 

It seemed it clicked just how dumb that sounded, so Dimitri cleared his throat before he continued speaking again, receiving no response from Felix besides a continued glare, “So they are...real right? Like you have feeling in them?”

“Of course they’re real, do you see my old ears? They’re gone, replaced with these horrible things. My hearings got better too, I could hear what Sylvain was doing two rooms down and through the walls. I want my old ears back, especially after hearing that.”

Dimitri did not want explicit detail of what Sylvain was doing alone in his room that made Felix wish he never heard it, “I see...can I touch them?”

“Excuse me?”

“They just look very soft and I would like to touch them?”

“Do you have some sort of death wish or--”

“If not your ears, then perhaps your tail. It’s just so intriguing that I can’t help but be curious--”

“Goodnight, boar.”

Felix was not about to have any of this so he turned around and was about to slam the door behind him when he felt Dimitri’s hand grab at his tail, keeping the end bit of it on his side of the doorway. It was too late, and he had already pushed the door closed so there it went, shutting right on his tail. The noise that Felix made was somewhere between a scream and a yowl, and was probably heard through the whole dormitory. 

Dimitri acted fast opening the door back up and helping Felix get his tail out of the frame, all while Felix shoved at him and took his tail into his own hands, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. 

“I’ve only had this thing for 5 damn hours and you already broke it!!”

“Felix, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that you were going to slam the door--”

“Goddess, it fucking hurts I didn’t even want this thing--”

“Felix, please just...come sit down and let me look at it.”

Dimitri was going to try and just take Felix over so that he could sit on his bed and he could look at the damage, but it sure was a struggle to get to that point with Felix squirming and pushing against him. Eventually Dimitri just picked Felix right up off the ground, shut the door and plopped him right onto the bed. Felix must have been in shock from getting lifted, because the second he was up off the ground, he was frozen until he was plopped onto the bed. 

“Who--What--How dare you just--”

“Felix stop fighting me and just give me your tail.”

That was an order that Felix never thought that he was going to hear, but he reluctantly pulled the thing from behind him, placing it into Dimitri’s hand and giving him a frown so deep it was almost comical to look at. Now that it was in his hand, Dimitri ran his fingers over it trying to find the exact spot where it was shut in the door. When he saw Felix wince a little he examined the area. 

“Hmmm...I’m no doctor...or vet, in this case, but it doesn’t seem like it’s broken. I think it’s probably just going to bruise.” Dimitri explained, absentmindedly rubbing his hand over the injured area. 

Felix didn’t respond to him. His tail had hurt before, but ever since Dimitri started stroking it, it had started to feel...good. Comforting. He had been so lost in the trance of it that he didn’t even notice that he had leaned his head against Dimitri’s shoulder, relaxing into the feeling of it. 

“Um...Felix...are you feeling alright? ...Are you purring?” Dimitri noticed the noise that he was used to coming out of the local monastery cats was now coming out of Felix.

“Why did you stop?”

“Excuse me?”

The head that was in his shoulder tilted so just the eyes were shown to be glaring at him, “I said why did you stop. Keep doing it.”

Dimitri was hardly going to say no to the only time Felix had requested intimacy from him in their adult lives, even if it was a bit odd. He continued running his hand down his tail and he even moved his other hands to scratch behind one of those navy ears on top of his head. When he did, the purring got much louder, Felix leaning his head in the direction of Dimitri’s hand. 

They stayed like this for a few minutes, Dimitri scratching him and giving his tail pets, Felix’s eyes all closed and relaxed. When he finally blinked them open he saw that Dimitri was...staring at him with such a soft expression that it made Felix’s face crunch up in disgust.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you look cute when you get all relaxed like that.”

Felix narrowed his gaze, “You just think I’m cute because I have cat ears, don’t you?”

“I assure you that is not the--”

“Tch. Makes sense that a beast would be attracted to another.”

“Felix, that’s not really fair, I don’t only like you because you--”

“What, are you trying to say you think I’m cute all the time?”

If silence and pink cheeks were ever an answer then Dimitri might as well have just said yes. 

“Disgusting. You know you’re disgusting, right?” Felix asked, taking Dimitri’s shoulders and pushing him onto the bed.

“Yes.”

Felix moved to where he was seated on top of Dimitri, his ass on his crotch as his tail swayed back and forth mischievously behind him. Dimitri looked up at him with adoration. 

“Does this get you excited, boar? I bet the second you saw me with these ears and this stupid tail you wanted to fuck me.”

“I did.”

“I bet you saw this tail of mine and thought about how you could pull on it as you took me from behind. Saw these ears and thought how good they would look in those big boar hands of yours as you pushed my face into the bed.” Felix ground his ass back against Dimitri’s still clothed cock, causing the prince’s breath to hitch. 

“Absolutely.”

“Horrible. You’re absolutely the worst. I’m the one with cat ears and you’re the one acting like an animal. I bet you didn’t even come in here to check on me. I bet you just came over because you wanted to fuck me.”

“You sounded angry and like you needed someone to take it out on.”

Finally, the truth was out. Felix was the one looming above him, but Dimitri had gotten that wild look in his eye. There was no going back from this now.

“Well are you gonna do something about it, or are you just gonna lay there looking stupid?”

And there it was, the switch that turned in Dimitri. One second Felix was on top of Dimitri and the next he was thrown down onto the bed like he weighed nothing at all. God, Felix loved it when he did that to him. 

“I hope you don’t like this shirt.”

“I do like this shirt.”

“Too bad,” Dimitri responded, already ripping the fabric off his torso.

“You’re a fucking beast.”

“Big words for a guy with these,” Dimitri smirked, taking Felix’s cat ears and squeezing them between his fingers and giving them a light pull. 

Felix did not mean to let that moan out of his mouth, but he did, and now that Dimitri had heard it he knew he had made a mistake. You could practically feel the look of satisfaction that was on that shitty boar’s face and now his mouth was on ears, kissing them before ultimately biting down on one. 

Fuck that felt amazing. Another moan out of Felix’s mouth and Dimitri was biting familiar spots on his neck still lightly bruised from just a few nights ago, marking him all over again. This was why Felix always had to wear turtlenecks.

Once he was done and Felix was covered in the red marks and saliva of the beast, Dimitri pulled back going back on his haunches and giving Felix a once over.

“Turn around, you know what I want.”

Felix should have kicked him for ordering him around like that but he was so horny he did nothing but turn around on his stomach like a good little kitty. Dimitri licked his lips at the view below him, Felix, ass up in the air, tail swishing back and forth in excitement. 

A hand coming down hard on his ass was the next thing Felix felt, a whine fell out of his mouth as he turned his head so that he could look back at Dimitri, watching him expectantly. And Dimitri sure wasn’t here to disappoint. Both of those large hands of his came to grope at Felix’s perfect, round ass, before his pants were pulled down. 

And then that sinful mouth was on Felix’s ass. He made true on his promise, grabbing Felix by the base of the tail, and pulling him flush. He started by biting him on the cheeks before he moved his tongue over Felix’s waiting hole. Licking and sucking as his other hand held to one of Felix’s ass cheeks to keep it spread apart while he pushed his tongue into it. The feeling of the wet appendage inside of him was making Felix bit down in the pillow, arching his ass against Dimitri’s face. 

“Are you biting the pillow again? You know I like to hear you.”

“Fuck off--Ahh, Fuck!”

Of course the second that Felix tried to curse at him was right when Dimitri put his tongue back inside of him. That got him every single time and now he was even more mad so he refused to move his mouth away from the pillow as he was getting thoroughly tongue fucked. He was sucking his hole and pushing his tongue into him and Felix’s cock was so hard right now his thighs quaking. 

Once he was done and he moved his mouth off of him, Felix got another nice, loud, slap to the ass, his whole body jerking at the feeling of it. Dimitri’s hand gripped into Felix’s hair, pulling his head back. 

“I thought I told you I liked hearing you. Where’s your lube?”

Now that Felix’s head had been pulled up, Dimitri could hear his panting, and see his lustful expression. His hand scrambled to the bedside table, grabbing a bottle and tossing it back to the prince behind him. 

“Out on your bedside table? Slut.” Dimitri chided. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I do it for my own safety you goddamn boar, you’re too damn impatient!”

As if to prove his impatience, the oil was on Dimitri’s fingers and they were already prodding at Felix’s wet, pliant hole. He started off with two fingers and Felix took him just beautifully, moaning freely as Dimitri held his head back. His fingers were so long and thick that they had Felix keening, moving his hips back and forth against his hand. 

“Look how well you’re taking them, kitten. You’re good at this, aren’t you?”

Kitten? That was new and Felix was so fucking hard that he was practically leaking. A third finger was pushed in with ease, stretching out his hole without hitting any of the good parts. Fucking dickhead. He was purposely avoiding it too, because every time he would move his hips to try and get him to touch his prostate Dimitri would move his fingers again.

But, Dimitri knew what he really wanted, and that wasn’t just his fingers. The blown look of need in Felix’s eyes when Dimitri pulled his fingers out and got his dick out, oil dripping down from the bottle on his huge, erect cock was enough to sober any man.

“You want this, don’t you, kitten?”

“Shut up and--”

“Tell me.”

“Yes, I fucking want it just put it in already!!” 

And that’s exactly what Dimitri did. One hand on the base of his tail, the other on Felix’s ass, he shoved that giant cock of his right into Felix’s waiting hole. Felix’s eyes practically rolled into the back of his head at the feeling of it, his breath hitching up followed by a voice that cracked in a loud moan. 

Dimitri didn’t wait for Felix to adjust, he rarely did and that was just how Felix liked it. With that strong hand of his using Felix’s tail as an anchor, Dimitri was pounding into Felix. Felix could say fuck all to his ponytail now, with Dimitri’s hand pulling at his hair so that his head was up off the bed. Dimitri’s fantastic cock was stretching him out so much as it rubbed right up against all of the right places. He was coming down so hard on him that it was hard for Felix to even stay up on his knees. 

Slews of moans, curses and pants filled the room as Dimitri pulled in and out of him. The pain mixed with the pleasure was causing tears to come to the corner of his eyes, Felix’s own neglected cock red and dripping with need. He found himself scrambling as Dimitri shoved his head into the pillow and pulled his knees off the bed by the base of his tail, coming down on him at a whole new angle. 

The literal second Felix moved to touch his own cock he came with a choked out sob, shivers running raking through his whole body. Cum dripped all over his hand, onto the bed and his vision went white. And all he could do afterwards as Dimitri fucked his overly sensitive body to the point where there were tears coming down his cheeks was to lay there and let him use him. 

Fortunately he didn’t have to wait for too much longer, as Dimitri reached his own climax coming right down Felix’s worn out hole. Honestly, the next thing that Felix remembered was the feeling of someone cleaning him up followed by the weight of a person getting into bed with him and fingers running through his hair. 

It was late, Felix was exhausted, and he fell asleep right there on Dimitri’s chest, feeling used and satisfied. 

The next morning Felix was the second to wake, Dimitri’s arm around him as he idly rubbed at his hip. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” Dimitri gave him one of those smiles that he reserved for Felix alone, “They’re gone, it must have just been something temporary.”

“Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“I’m going to write to Claude to send me more of that stuff.”

“You’re the absolute worst.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can't play animal crossing so here I am writing porn instead.


End file.
